Educational Follies
by MVD1917
Summary: When Ranma fails to graduate, Nodoka is forced to undertake drastic measures, which unfortunately implicates one Eikichi Onizuka into a very messy arrangement. RanmaGreat Teacher Onizuka Crossover.


Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this, Great Teacher Onizuka and Ranma ½ belong to their respective owners.

Author's note:

Changed the timeframe for Ranma ½ so that he arrived in Nerima when he was 15. Fic starts one year after Jusendo when he was 17, so Ranma is 18 here.

Onizuka timeline: Starts during Volume 9 (Chapter 69) in the Manga.

If one of Ranma's numerous prospective fiancées had seen him now, most if not all of them would probably run in tears to a temple, swearing away their femininity to embrace the life of a nun or a miko. If it was his current fiancées who had caught a glimpse of his face, they would probably shift the blame then shove their engagements on each other before agreeing on a pact to kill Ranma and save themselves from being married to the premier martial artist and dumb jock of Nerima.

The source of their potential distress was Ranma himself, or specifically, his face which was contorted into a mask of absolute shock that made Edvard Munch's 'The Scream' painting look like a mild surprise in comparison. Fortunately, or unfortunately since a glimpse of his face would have definitely resolved his fiancée problem, for Ranma the only person who witnessed his mental fugue translated on his facial features was Miss Hinako in her adult form, having prepared herself for this meeting by draining celebrating students in her class. Which was fortunate considering that her child form would have ran off to voluntarily commit herself to a life in a padded room just to make the bad man go away had she seen his face as of now.

"So… any questions Mr Saotome?" The sensual voice of Hinako's grown form combined with the criss-crossing of her legs as she leant back against the chair, stretching the fabric of her blouse tightly against her voluptuous form, would have usually reduced Ranma to a blushing mass of stutters but he was far too shocked by the report he held in his shaking hands to notice.

"R-retained?! Whaddya' mean I hafta' stay and complete high school? I completed the school year jes' fine!" Ranma demanded as he snapped out of his stupor, shaking his report card in anger. The fact that a gloating picture of the Hawaiian-nut principal of Furinkan was pasted on the top of the card did not help his patience either. Glaring at the mocking picture, he added in suspicion. "It's that damned pineapple-freak ain't it?"

Hinako sighed and massaged her temples, resisting the urge to drain the delinquent and let him deal with reality himself. It was not even supposed to be her task, but no sane teacher with a healthy appreciation of self-preservation would dare to approach the volatile Saotome with such news. Or Tatewaki Kuno. Or Ryoga Hibiki though thankfully he was absent far too long for any teacher to be given the job of relaying such bad news to him. Thus, all of it fell to Hinako thanks to her chi-draining abilities which kept the martial artists in line.

He had a reason to be suspicious, Hinako supposed, of the lunatic that they had for a principal but more importantly, he deserved to know about the poor state he was in. Society was not as forgiving about grades nowadays, especially in a scholastically-inclined country such as Japan.

"To be frank Ranma-kun, your grades are atrocious." Hinako started, her eyes boring holes at Ranma's fidgeting form. "You failed most of your subjects and you keep sleeping in class. Despite the fact that Furinkan High is not a premier centre of Education, we need to maintain a standard. And awarding you with a graduation would make us into a laughi…"

Hinako tapped her chin with a finger for a second then amended her sentence as Ranma looked at her dryly. "A BIGGER laughingstock than we already are."

"But what bout Kuno-sempai? He graduated without problems last year!" Ranma briefly shuddered as he recalled the 'farewell party' that Kuno had organised after his graduation. Pictures and paraphernalia of his female form and Akane adorned the gym of Furinkan to the brim as Kuno wept at being 'torn from his loves'.

"As much as a fool Tatewaki-kun is, he is proficient in his literature and calligraphy…. Both subjects you are also atrocious at…" Hinako replied, her eyes forming tiny slits as she began to fiddle with the Go-En Satsu coin in her right hand idly.

Gulping, Ranma stepped away from the desk though he was still scowling in frustration. He knew everyone was so going to laugh at him for this! He, Ranma Saotome, had beaten that cheap Bird-God knockoff Saffron just a year ago and yet here he was beaten by the school system…

'Heh, at least Mum haven't gotten ahold of this info yet… I bet she woulda' want me to commit shudder seppuku if she knows… Thank the Kami for small mercies!' Ranma sighed in relief. It was up to him to tell his mum about it, Genma having taken off two weeks previous for a long training trip after yet another fiancée had turned up. Not that Genma cared about his son's education though it cut down his choice of messengers to his mum to deliver the report while Ranma camped away from Nerima in say… Okinawa while waiting for his Mum to cool down.

"…as it is, we have informed your mother of your failure to graduate. Please believe me when I say this is done with your best interest… Ranma-kun?" Miss Hinako halted her dialogue as she noticed Ranma reverting back to his mask of supreme shock with absolute terror, his hands glued to his pale, sweaty cheeks.

His mother had been informed. His mother knows.

"Best interest my ass! Mum's gonna make me commit Seppuku!" Ranma fell to his knees in despair, raising his hands to the heavens as he begged for deliverance.

"Happo Go-En Satsu!" With that one cry, Ranma reverted into the Crouch of the Wild Tiger, more from the strain of being drained than a desire to use the technique.

Ranma was about to stand up and scream at Hinako for draining him when a knock on the door interrupted them. Hinako opened the door admitting a frowning Nodoka into the room with that distinctive cloth-covered bundle in her arms. On second thought, maybe the Crouch of the Wild Tiger needed to be used after all…

"Er… hi Mom…." Ranma started lamely and cursed all the Kamis he had thanked earlier as Nodoka's eyes narrowed as she heard Miss Hinako speak while indicating at his report card.

Elsewhere...

"What'd ya want to talk to me about Madam Chairchick? Am I going to be an official teacher yet?" Eikichi Onizuka, self-styled Great Teacher Onizuka or GTO, yawned as he scratched his hair, which was dyed blonde while plopping comfortably into one of the provided chairs.

Depending on who you happened to ask, the 22 year-old 2nd Dan Karate Expert is either the biggest perverted idiot, a cancerous parasite that had brainwashed the Chairwoman and out to destroy the hallowed academy or the greatest teacher ever, even if he was a real pervert.

"Take a Seat please Onizuka-sensei. This may… surprise you." The Chairwoman of the Holy Forest Academy, Ryoko Sakurai smiled in amusement from her seat as she wondered how her protégé would react to the bomb, which she did not plan for, she was going to drop on him.

"Heh… no sweat! I am Japan's greatest teacher! I can suplex anything that goes my way!" Onizuka cackled as he raised his right hand into a 'victory' sign.

"I am assured by your confidence Onizuka-san. I am glad." The chairwoman smiled as she took a sealed, unmarked envelope from the desk drawer and handed it to him. "Do read the contents." She urged him as Onizuka began to tear the envelope and began reading the letter.

Onizuka's face scrunched in curiosity as he opened the envelope, wondering who it might be from. As he began to read the sharp calligraphy, the confused expression in his face turned into that of a pure horror as he saw who had written the letter. His mother.

One may recall that one of the reasons that Onizuka had given for moving to Tokyo was to 'solidify himself as a real man'. In fact, there was another, far more important, reason why he had moved to Tokyo. It was his mother. Onizuka was not afraid of his mother, he was fucking terrified of her, especially that damned Katana she always carried! It would have made him, the Devil Eikichi, a national laughingstock if word had gotten out he had tailed it to Tokyo just to avoid his mother hounding him about 'being manly'. Not that he had been slacking in this department, but his mother was not as forgiving of his 'failure' to provide her with grandchildren.

"Obaasan… how'd you know my… mother?" Onizuka asked fearfully as he read the letter addressing him in his trembling hands… and that was just him reading the letterhead and greetings.

"Ah… Nodoka-san was one of my students whom I had taught. We have kept in touch ever since." Not mentioned was the fact that 23 years ago, Nodoka's pregnancy with Eikichi had led her to seek Ryoko's advice, and the fact that she recognised Eikichi on sight, him being a carbon copy of his late father except for his dyed hair.

"I see..." Onizuka forced himself to finish reading the letter, as Madam Sakurai watched, taking note that the pallor of his face began to leave him the further down he read the letter.

"Dear Ei-Chan,

How have you been doing my son? I sincerely hope you are adapting well to your situation as an educator for our beloved nation. Mere words cannot express the pride that I harbour for you my manly son! You have made me proud!

Sigh, I digress. The reason that I am sending you this letter is not a happy one Eikichi. I am assigning you a task of utmost importance. I am sure that you remember about your younger brother, dearest Ranma-Chan, who left for a martial arts training trip twelve years ago. Indeed, Genma has succeeded in turning Ranma-Chan into 'the best Martial Arts of his Generation'. A respected educator and a Martial Arts master as my sons! You cannot imagine how delighted I am Ei-Chan!

Genma has, however, failed to provide Ranma-Chan with sufficient education during their journey, and it pains me to say that his scholastic ability leaves much to be desired. This monumental task that I will entrust to you, son of mine Eikichi Onizuka, is to ensure that Ranma improves his knowledge and become an educated member of society.

Another matter has also caught my attention. I am… concerned that Ranma has not been displaying enough… manly behaviour despite the fact that he has four willing fiancées to lavish his attentions on, he has displayed reluctance and even fear when confronted with these opportunities, which worries me greatly. I would like you to rectify this situation as well.

Should you fail to rectify these flaws, I will have to sorrowfully exercise my responsibilities as a dutiful mother and hold you, Ranma and Genma to your Seppuku contracts. I do not wish to resort to such recourse, but I will do it if I have to. So don't fail us Ei-chan! Good Luck!

Your ever-loving Mother,

Nodoka.

By the time Onizuka had read the last word, his face was paler than the sheet of paper he was reading from as he slumped against the chair like a molten jelly, the letter fluttering noisily to the ground like a loose leaf.

"And what does your Mother has to say, Onizuka-Sensei?" Chairwoman Sakurai asked him.

"He… he… he…" Onizuka chuckled slowly as his hand slowly groped the back pocket of his jeans for a cigarette. "Nothing much… I just found out that I will get my head lopped off… if I fail to… complete a task… no sweat…" His confident words were not supported by the fact that he was sweating heavily and the fact that he spoke like a man informed that he will be thrown into a pool of hungry piranhas wearing a vest of meat and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"I see. I am sure that you will do your best and succeed as usual Onizuka-sensei." This time, the matronly chairwoman smiled at him warmly.

"Right… I will now go and… have a stro- I mean smoke… Thanks for the letter…" Onizuka mumbled as he slowly stood up and sluggishly made his exit. With that, Onizuka stumbled out of the school and ran for the peaceful, alcohol-induced slumber where Manliness-obsessed mothers with sharp Katanas were nothing but the twisted imagination of a hapless writer.

Unfortunately for him, it was a reality.

A.N.: After a lot of difficulty, I got the letter written out and changed the ending as well. As previously, constructive criticism is appreciated since I need more to improve. Thank you for reading.

Add: I apologise for the lack of text breaks in between scene changes, transferring the file from MS Word to Wordpad erased the text breaks.


End file.
